There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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