She announced her abortion via fbk
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can I color on your dick again?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
