Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
my poor anus
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
