I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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