whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
