The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
