I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
