Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
