fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
