I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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