just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
