Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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