Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize