I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
