I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
