Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We don't watch enough power rangers
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
