Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize