no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
