It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
