I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
