You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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