Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
