It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
