I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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