so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
