This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
