this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
