dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
