I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize