You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
