so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
