I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize