What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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