im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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