No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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