Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
