We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
