i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
