I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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