whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
