Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
