Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
