Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
