I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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