Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
