i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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