...so i touched it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
