I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
