When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
