I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
