Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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