I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
