Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
