I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
