remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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