well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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