i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
