Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
