420 ftw
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize