my mouth tastes like poor choices
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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