dude i'm inner monologue high
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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