I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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