At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
